Ephesians 3:11-12

"This was according to the eternal purpose
that he has realized in Christ Jesus our Lord,
in whom we have boldness and access with confidence
through our faith in him."

I have to say, the greatest discomfort I've experienced since my arrival in Korea has been walking around the neighborhood. Maybe I'm just self-conscious of what my people might think of me, but I feel like everyone is looking at me with very judgmental eyes. Like..they have laser beams shooting from there eyes, scoping me out from head to toe. Whenever I roamed around SoCal, I never felt uncomfortable even though almost everyone around me were completely different appearance-wise. I also feel like I have to be a certain way around my co-workers. I feel like one little thing I do can change their entire perspective of who I am.

Sigh...this is why...community is so very important.

All the love I've received during my short time here so far feels so undeserving. Just through e-mail I've gained so much confidence in who I am and why I'm here. I'm so...so overwhelmed with gratitude for the people who are making sure that I don't lose sight of that....
And although we all seem to lack confidence in many areas, I realized we actually do see so much in ourselves. Think about it...whenever you're placed in a situation where you find it hard to be comfortable and feel shy, you always ask the question, "Why can't I just be myself??"
I think...that question in itself reveals how much you do love yourself and believe in yourself. You think to yourself, 'if I am myself, I can get along with everyone just fine.' That's really it isn't it?

Today's my first day of teaching. After meditating on these thoughts, I feel like I can walk into all five of my classrooms with confidence. I feel like He's given me a coat that will reflect off all the laser beams that come my way. Let's just hope that I don't forget any of this.




{eSeul}