What if...

I had taken ballet lessons as a child?

I wonder how different life would be....



{eSeul}

I have decided....

...that my future cafe/restaurant will be called "...".

One day, a co-worker began to call me "..." because my name sounds like '...'.

And, I always talk about how the sky is God's "..."....

How appropriate. :)

Perhaps I should copyright this before it gets taken.... But at least for now, you, my readers, are my witnesses. Hehe.

Thanks to Grace's advice, it is now a secret. You can ask me personally and if I trust you enough, I will tell you. Hehe.



{eSeul}

Peace Within the Storm

.

There is a girl sitting under a tree, resting. Her arms are around her legs, and she’s looking far off into the distance, probably the sky.
But it’s raining. There is wind and the skies are gray, but she seems to be oblivious to it all.
I think she’s crying.
It looks like an unhappy picture, but there is something beautiful about it.
It’s beautiful…because there is a sense of peace.
She appears to be at peace.

.

I drew this picture during small group in hopes to express who I am when I’m not around people.
When I’m with people, it’s always a sunshine-y day.
And it’s not a façade. It used to be a façade. But I truly do feel uplifted when I’m surrounded by my community.
Sure there are things that they have yet to learn about me, and there are things that I choose not to share, but what can I do…I’m just happy when I’m with them.
But when I’m alone…I am the girl under that tree. I am in a storm, and I’m crying. But in this season of my life, there is an undeniable peace that I don’t want to let go of, that I can’t let go of.
Ever since the new year began, God has been revealing to me day by day what is in store for me this year. No, nothing is crystal clear, but that joy that I’ve been craving feels so close….

Seems like such an oxymoron…peace within the storm. But that’s only possible because God is here. He is next to me. He knows what I need.

I can already feel Him molding me. Since my last entry, walking into my home has become exponentially bearable. And I know that my mom feels it, too. She’s noticing the light ever so slowly but surely forming from that candle.

“And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding,
will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
–Philippians 4:7

It's like...when you're running from the cafe to your car while it's raining cats and dogs. It's not the most pleasant feeling, getting your clothes and shoes wet, but you find yourself smiling the entire way.

Find your peace within the storm.



{eSeul}

es.cap.e

Sigh....

Oh how I wish I was in Paris...or Korea...or anywhere but here.

Day after day, home is a reminder of all that is unfamiliar. Different walls, different ambience, different TV, different people...including myself.
Despite how much I want God to change all of those things, I've been asking God to transform my heart more than anything else.

Pastor Dave shared on Sunday something that confirmed to me what I really need to do. He said that many times we ask God to change people so that they measure up to our expectations, that one day they will learn what they're doing wrong. But, as we wait patiently and just lift everything up to Him, He will transform the relationships rather than change the people.

My patience had been dying out. And what I resorted to is having thoughts of escaping from all this mess. But I just need to continue to wait on Him, and see why He's kept me here.

I want to be a light at home; I want to be transformed from a useless melted candle in a dark room into something molded in His image, by His hands....

"For this reason I bow my knees before the Father,
from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named,
that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you
to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being,
so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith-that you,
being rooted and grounded in love,
may have strength to comprehend with all the saints
what is the breadth and length and height and depth,
and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge,
that you may be filled with all the fullness of God."
-Ephesians 3:14-19

As much as I want to dwell in His presence, I need Him to dwell in me.
There is a reason for everything....


{eSeul}

It's 2010...

Every day I look at the sky, and I see beauty. Some days it's absolutely clear, and some days it's completely cloudy. Some days it's swept with feathered clouds, and some days I see cotton candy. Whether bright or gloomy...I always sense God's love for me. The sky is endless...endlessly beautiful. It is where I wish to dwell, and it is what gives me peace in my heart.

한마디로, 하늘을 보면 가슴이 뻥 뚤린다.

And so I chase after the clouds. I don't wish to chase them away, because without the clouds it is only a blank canvas. At the same time, when completely blue, I am given the privilege to paint on His canvas and dream even more. I want to see it up close, so I hope to record all that reveals His eminent fingerprints, that...flutters my heart, that brings tears to my eyes as I journey there.

I truly have a great feeling about this new year. And this is where it all begins.




{eSeul}