Le Sigh

.


Yesterday I made a trip to Rose Hills and the timing couldn't have been better.

It was hot all day, clear skies with just a couple clouds but on the way there more clouds had appeared and the sun was shining through them, creating one of the most beautiful silver linings I've ever seen. And I wept.

As I neared the Rose Hills exit, a rainbow had appeared. It shined ever so brightly against the gray skies on the opposite side of town. And I continued to weep.

I drove over the hill towards the end of the memorial. I parked and walked up to him. I sat by him and wept hysterically. I'm sure if someone was nearby they would've thought that I was hanging over the edge of my life.

I hadn't missed him that much in a while. I hadn't cried that much in a while.

Once I was able to find my composure, I sat and looked at the full rainbow that was perfectly centered in my view. I looked behind me to see if anyone was around and saw that the sky was bright blue with golden clouds floating above the hill. And I smiled. It had to be God!

I sat there talking to my father and about how much I miss him and to my Father about how much I need Him.

I've been thinking about how much I've always gone with my "feeling". Rarely, if ever, have I felt like I did something because I knew God wanted me to, thus making me wonder if God really is...real.

But yesterday...the sky...and how beautifully everything was painted out, was God telling me that He indeed is real. Could you really say that nature made the clouds and sunlight and rainbow merry so well together to please our eyes?

Only God could make such things come together and become purposeful. Not just for the world to work scientifically but also so that we can appreciate the beauty of it all.

I can't help that all of this sounds cheesy. But I'm just trying to be real.

I have set my bow in the cloud,
and it shall be a sign of the covenant
between me and the earth.
When I bring clouds over the earth
and the bow is seen in the clouds,
I will remember my covenant that is between me and you
and every living creature of all flesh.
- Genesis 9:13-15




{eSeul}

Forgetful Me

.

I recently put in a request for a week off of work so that I can just take it easy and really focus on life. It started today and I'm supposed to be off until next Wednesday. But yesterday at work there was a posting about a girl at a different store needing someone to cover shifts for her. I saw that I was free on Monday and to do her a favor, I called her to let her know that I can cover her Monday shift. I realized later that I offered to work on a day that I requested off.

Sometimes I can be pretty stupid.




{eSeul}

2 MONTHS

Wow...I have neglected my blog for 2 whole months.

I'm terrible.

So many fleeting feelings have happened since my last post. But I feel like I haven't really gone anywhere. I'm still in the same place. But different.

I'm confusing you aren't I?

Well...I'm going to have to explain more later. It's too much information to jot down at this hour. This is just my attempt to feel less guilty about not writing in my blog as often as I should.

Goodnight!




{eSeul}