보이나요?
나무에 춤추듯 걸려있는 잎사이로 퍼지는 햇빛.
머릿속에 그려진 사랑의 이야기.
하늘에 붓질 된 화가의 행복.
찢어진 마음속에 세겨진 나의 존제감...
들리나요?
하나, 둘, 셋을 따르는 멜로디.
물과 물의 만남과 치열.
사랑과 삶을 찾아 헤매는 날갯질.
당신 곁에서 소리없이 슬피우는 나...
향은 나나요?
부엌에서 힘없이, 열심히 움직이는 엄마의 손.
까페에서 사람들의 끝없는 대화.
밤바다에서 나누는 친구들과 기타의 시간.
뜯어진 잔디에서 당신옆에 앉아있는 나...
느껴봐요...
머릿결 사이로 조심스레 움직이며 당신을 감싸안는 나의 바람.
걱정, 비웃음, 어두움속의 목소리로 체워지는 나의 자리.
당신이 버린 심장을 조심스레 들고있는 나의 손...
나의 아픔...
나의 사랑...
나의 모든 것.
잊지말아요.



{eSeul}

Let's Be Healthy!

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Ugh.

Why must my body respond to EVERYTHING that I eat, good and bad?!
I have decided to be more conscious of what I eat starting tomorrow. Well, I guess I'm always pretty aware of what I'm eating and how it will affect me, but it's time to get serious and get healthy.
Fried food only once a week, and red meat only twice at week at the most.
And drink lots of water!!!
This has a lot to do with my skin, too. One weekend, I spent it in Big Bear with my small group for a retreat and ate tons and tons of junk food. I came back home with (not exaggerating) about 10 new pimples!

Sigh...I guess it's a good thing. My body and skin just want me to live longer and healthier. Haha.

Even if you're not as sensitive to what you intake, let's all try to be healthy! Woohoo!



{eSeul}

.

When you hear the word "memories", how do you feel?

For me, I feel grateful. I'm grateful that I have something to cherish, and grateful again that I have the ability, the mental and psychological ability to remember.

But sometimes, there is an ungratefulness that emerges. An ungratefulness that is significantly comparable to how I initially feel. I'll smile in the warm and fuzziness of my memories, and then I'll find myself weeping. My heart feels like it's breaking, because I know that I will never have those moments again, because someone who was a part of them is no longer here for me to cherish with.

It's so interesting how loss not only affects your present and future, but also your past. Does that even make sense...? I don't know....

What do you do when you miss something and/or someone so much, but you can't see or talk to them in perhaps forever? What do you do when you try to recall them in your memories but all you feel is pain? The sensible thing to think would be to forget all in all. But what's funny is that forgetting isn't what comes to mind, and if it does, it's not something we choose to do.

If anything, forgetting is sadder than painful memories.

At least I'm able to feel you through my memories. If I didn't have any, I wouldn't be able to feel you at all. Now that, I don't want.

"Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all...."
-Lady Antebellum



{eSeul}

Sigh....

.

Sometimes I wonder what life would be like today
if you were still here.
And then I wonder if I gave up too soon....

Where are you anyway?



{eSeul}