The devil knows what has been planned for me.
So he breaks me down.
He takes my thoughts into unlit places and into the miry clay.
My feet get stuck.
So I fall on my knees.
He laughs and watches as I'm helpless, as I weep.
He knows I'm getting nowhere and losing more and more hope.
Especially in knowing that God, the One he fears most, is gradually blurring from my head.
From my heart.
From my life.

But He only allows this to happen because He loves me.
He believes in me even thought I don't.
He has faith in me even though I don't.
Job 1:11-12.
He's willing to have His heart broken while I loathe...the breaking of my heart.
I don't have evidence of the bright future ahead. But I believe.
He has favor in me....
So I believe.
I believe in His promises.

Instead of letting him tie me down...
I'm going to try and break free.
Let this be a time that I find freedom and not dwell in my paralysis.

God please....




{eSeul}

WHEN WILL THIS ALL BE OVER

....


I just want to smile...and laugh without anything holding me back.

I don't understand...

.

I wish we can all just move on.
People say money doesn't bring happiness.
For me...in a sense...it does.

It will free me.
I think it will.




{eSeul}

Memories

.

Today I missed home. A lot.

But the unfortunate thing is...
I am at home.


p.s. I'm freaking hungry. Where's mah food at?!
p.p.s. I apologize for the drastic mood change. But I really am hungry.




{eSeul}