Some Good Things About Summer

Today all of us Californians got a taste of summer. It was bright and sunny out with blue skies that made it appropriate for the flip flops to set free from the closet. I actually woke up this morning feeling groggy and unhappy about the warmth that lingered in the entire apartment. What's worse was walking out of the shower with misty sweat already forming on my skin. Instantly I thought, 'Ugh, it's that time of the year once again.' Throughout the morning I wondered why people loved summer so much. When I think of summer and hot weather I am only reminded of sticky skin, uncomfortable showers, laziness, and smaller clothing.
But throughout the day, I came to a realization that maybe...summer doesn't have to be so dreadful.

Moment #1
While I waited for some (special) people for lunch, I got to sit outside to pass the time. It was so beautiful. The slight breeze accompanied the warm sunlight perfectly. I'm sure, the heat will be much more intense than this as the days pass but at least I feel somewhat prepared.

Moment #2
Further into the day, I took an afternoon nap that reminded me of my summers growing up. Unlike most children, my summers weren't very eventful. Going swimming at the pool was probably the most excitement we got; my parents weren't all too adventurous nor were we affluent enough to take frequent/annual trips. Maybe that's why I tend to cherish the small things in life.
Anywho, while I crawled into bed, I instantly thought of the summer nights when the entire family would sleep in our parents' room where the patio door was. We'd sleep all together on the floor (my parents didn't have a bed until we were in high school) with the patio door slightly open. It would be so warm that we would only need a blanket for our legs. Today, all I needed was something to cover my legs and I tearfully fell asleep.

Moment #3
There's something about the air in the summertime that's different too. The smell of the air is different from other seasons, the noise traveling through the air is different. As I sat watching a random Korean drama on TV (just to keep all my senses occupied) while putting on my makeup, I got a whiff of what our weekends at home looked/sound/smelled/etc. etc. etc. like growing up. We would all sit and/or lay around with the windows and doors open, watching Korean television shows together. Everything we did was very much surrounded around togetherness. We weren't the most close-knit family in terms of showing affection and discussing our lives together, but there was so much tradition in the most simplest things.
I miss it so much.

From the looks of it, I probably won't be spending summer in SoCal so (I can't believe I'm saying this) I hope to reminisce those times as much as I can.




{eSeul}

Is It Just Me?

Here's something that has recently been added to my "Someone Help Me to Understand" list:

Why do people take pictures with their food?

Okay yea, truth be told, I have done it quite a few times myself but most of the time as a victim. I don't recall ever asking a friend, "Hey, can you take a picture of me with my food?"
I mean...it's okay to take pictures of your food. I did it all the time (when I once had a camera); much more often than not food is a form of art , something created especially for you that you want to capture before it disappears. But why the need to hold up the plate(s) as if to...okay I really don't know how to finish this sentence because I honestly don't know why you need to take a picture with your food! I think it's really just the act of holding up your food or awkwardly touching the plate as if to display it that I find perplexing. I'd find nothing wrong with you and your food in a picture together if there wasn't any act of display.

Am I just the weird one for being weirded out by this??

So, if you, reader, find yourself doing this please help me to understand. Even if you don't do this but think you know the reason(s) why, again, help me to understand.

And, as a disclaimer, I'm not saying that something's wrong with you for doing this. I just want to know the answer to the question. You know, it's the same thing as wondering why some people don't like raw onions; it's just a personal taste that I'm trying to understand. :)




{eSeul}

Finding Peace

A few months ago, I had this random realization, an epiphany as most people would call it. I don't know where it came from, but I've embraced it to it's fullest capacity.

It's a sad reality, the unexpected loss of a father.
It sucks that he wasn't at my graduation, it sucks that he won't be at my wedding. It sucks that he won't be there when his grandchildren enter the world, who probably would be his prized possessions. It sucks that he won't be at my restaurants' grand opening, with a beaming face that exhibits immeasurable pride. And most of all, it sucks that I won't ever feel his embrace again, if I even remember what it's like to be in it.

But, loss is a part of life; everyone will experience it sometime during their lifetime. I just experienced it a tad bit earlier than a lot of people around me. And it's heartbreaking, but it makes me that much more aware of the incomparable pain that exists in the rest of the world.

The only concern I have now is, what can I do to be in the pain, not just my own, but the pain of others? Am I willing to dwell in that? How brave am I, and do I have enough in me to bear it? And...am I willing to relive it all over again with the reopening of wounds but without the anger I then had towards God? Would I be able to be there with a joyful heart?

He's been giving me more and more peace. But I still have a long way to go.
But at least I'm going somewhere, and that somewhere from this point of view, looks pretty alive.




{eSeul}

Some Things Are Just Simply Meant To Be

Today I walked into Bristol Farms (the grocery store next to where I work) in hopes to take home some Indian curry. They didn't have any :(.

But...on the way out I saw my favorite tulips in the most beautiful pink, like a baby powder pink. So I had to buy them. It was totally meant to be! They are now sitting in a vase that a loving friend gave me many Christmases ago.


I love flowers...love enjoying them in their simplicity. Although many people see them as a waste of money because of their short lifespan, I think the beauty they add to your day for that short while is worth every penny.

Well, on a side note, I need to teach myself how to make Indian curry so I can have it whenever I want. Maybe you can be a guinea pig for me sometime. :)




{eSeul}

Gotta Do This.

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He won't let me out of His sight.
And His hands.
I'm slowly learning the reason why it's still so hard for me to declare my trust in Him. He wants me to know, but I can't understand.
This is how I know that He is real.




{eSeul}

Another Dream

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A few days ago during a nap, I had a dream that my entire family was making a trip to Korea. We had with us all our luggage and were in the airport. It was nighttime so it was dark, and it was sort of eery because it seemed like the airport was almost deserted. I don't remember seeing anyone else but ourselves.
What's special about this dream?
My family...as a whole we've never been on a trip before. The only time we took a trip with light luggage was to Vegas when we were very young. Other than that, we've never taken a plane trip altogether, nor have we gone to Korea. It's weird that our destination was Korea, too, since I'm making plans to move there, something I've been wanting to do since high school. Am I really that close?
Another special thing. My dad was there with us. I remember feeling absolutely no confusion, and it was just a peaceful, serene, most comfortable feeling and environment.
I want more of these dreams. A part of me wishes that I was confused in the dream so I could've touched him again and showered him with kisses and happy tears.

And although I haven't recorded them, I've been having dreams every time I slept. Am I really that tired? But from what?
But the question I want to ask last is, what will I dream of tonight?




{eSeul}