Comfortable Being Alone

I love playing.
I love going out, hanging out with people, grabbing a few drinks and eating good food...but definitely not as much as most people.

I actually prefer to be alone a lot of times. Not just physically, but also in dealing with my issues and stressing out like crazy.

Recently, I found myself in an unfamiliar situation. I think...I'm not sure what it exactly was...but I didn't want to be alone. I began to compare my life here with those of my friends who were able to be here together. I began to feel envious of their comfort in always having people to be with whenever they wanted to. I wished I had been able to be here when they were here.

And then I thought about everything I experienced back at home when they were here, all the people I formed relationships with. Would I still want it if it meant giving up my experience as a barista? Would I still want it if it meant giving up all the people I met along the way? Would it be worth it if it meant giving up taking my relationship with God to a whole new level?

Today I realized, that this truly is God's timing. I didn't really let that idea sink in because it sounded so cliche and I probably would've been fine and dandy if everything did work out that way. But...I know I'm here at this time for more than just playing and hanging out. I mean, not to say that that's all my friends did when they were here. I know each of them met God in a new way and grew spiritually (which I can't deny would've happened with me), but you get my drift. But I feel that God brought me here at this particular season of my life because He knows that I've reached a new level of understanding of who He is. He knows what I'm really searching for.

I feel so much more encouraged to embrace my life here, today, right here, right now. From being with me, you might know how much I've been wondering what God has prepared for me. You might know how strongly I feel that He's been preparing me for something.

I'm glad that things are being put back into perspective.




{eSeul}