And so it Begins...

Warning...this is not a happy post LOL.

The waterworks began last night.
I made a phone call to my mom because I wanted to hear her voice.
She updated me on her moving plans. At first I felt that she had to move out urgently because our rent was going up. But when she mentioned that she wanted to stay there, I felt strangely comforted. It's not what I had wanted because I wanted to save money as a family, but knowing that she will be less burdened makes me relieved.
Other than that...I could tell it was hard for her to hide her true emotions. She didn't want to tell me what was wrong but I got her to eventually tell me what she was feeling.
My absence is too great. She didn't expect my physical absence to be so overwhelming. All I've done while living with her was discourage her and create a negative environment but she misses me.
Nothing makes me more upset than that. I knew she would feel this way. Lonely. Just imagining her going to bed alone makes me so...so..sad.
I wish she was here with me. I wish I had talked her and pressured her into moving here with me.

And, last week I talked to one of my dad's sisters (my aunt) over the phone. She started crying from hearing my voice. This completely reflects...all the feelings that will resurface. My healing begins all over again here. Tears upon tears, painful memories upon memories. I need to muster up all the courage I have from this point on.

Sigh...well anyway...that was depressing. Sorry! Haha. Hope this passes, and I'll feel less and less homesick.




{eSeul}