Lost

.


I'm sure everyone's seen one.... A lost child pacing around frantically searching for his/her Mom, Dad, Grandma....

I don't ever remember getting lost. I was always a good child, sticking to my parents and grandparents with my sister's hand in mine. But when I see a lost child at Disneyland or a grocery store, the panic I feel within me is unspeakable. I can't imagine how a small child could bear the fear.

And 'lo and behold, at the "mature" age of 22, I am that lost child.
Every day I find myself searching. I know that He hasn't abandoned me. I'm sure my absence is heart wrenching for Him. But I'm not absent because I chose to be. I thought I was with Him all along. But He's nowhere to be seen. I'm searching, and searching, and crying. And I don't know where I'm supposed to go to find Him. I don't know how I lost Him in the first place.

All I can do is cry out, hoping that He'd hear me and come.

Usually, the child finds his/her guardian. Mom is normally just a few feet ahead, pushing a cart or a stroller, waving her hand behind her telling the child to keep up.

Perhaps He's right there, right ahead of me. But I'm just panicking. I guess I just really...really really want to see His hand, waving and open for mine to be enveloped in it. I just can't see. My tears are blinding me. My burden is blinding me.

I guess all I can do is keep searching and crying out. He'll hear me and fetch me.
I'm sure He will.





{eSeul}