Going out to Burrito Project was not an easy task; I went into it, already waiting for it to be over. It was a long morning of strange physical exhaustion and emotional weariness. I wanted to collapse and just sleep the day away or bury myself in someone's arms and just cry. But it was also a great morning of being reminded of the importance of rest and how simple it really is. We often complicate the idea of rest so much that it becomes overwhelming.

And for some reason, I found Burrito Project to be restful instead.

I am such a bad conversationalist. When I feel forced into a conversation with someone, there are many awkward silences and stuttered words. I also say things that I don't mean. Maybe that's the case with many people, but I strongly admire people have no trouble whatsoever striking up a conversation and keep it interesting.

Well, Burrito Project sort of placed me in that situation, where we were "encouraged" to talk to the people we were handing out lunches to. After uncomfortably pacing around with two plastic bags full of goodies, Lydia and I approached two men who were talking to each other. Their names were AJ Hightower and Ken. After a few minutes of typical conversation subjects like our hometowns, the weather, etc., we were interrupted by one of the Burrito Project leaders who was handing out beanies. AJ left, probably not because of the beanies but because we were boring. I don't blame him...we were pretty boring. Haha. Ken was pretty quiet, too. He wasn't a man of many words, and seemed very unfamiliar to it all. He's only been on the streets since August, and is very strong-willed in looking for work. Especially after AJ left, there were more awkward silences and "huh-huh-huh"s. But...it wasn't too uncomfortable. If anything, I felt very connected to him. He was lost, confused, and didn't know how he let himself come to this point. At the same time, he seemed to be the type of person who continued on in his trek without crumbling down even though he was troubled. I felt like I could sit with him for a while without saying much and he'd still feel cared for. It felt...restful.

Towards the end, Lydia asked if we could pray for him especially because he had pain in his legs from extensive walking. He had kindly refused at first, but in the end he let us. After we prayed for him, he seemed to be a lot more...uplifted. I think he realized that after that prayer we weren't there to be "religious" but to really care for him. He noticed that we had listened and paid attention to all that he had to share about his life. But it was all only because we could tell that he was a good man....

As we were leaving, I told Lydia, "Man, I'm going to be thinking of Ken all week."
It was not at all in a burdensome way, but because I really will be thinking of him and praying for him throughout the week.

And really...this is why these people go out every Sunday to serve the homeless; these brief interactions become cherished relationships. It's not just about serving or giving them something we have more of but it's about allowing them to become a part of our lives. It's allowing them to enter and take more than just our time and energy, but our love and our care.

That's true servanthood, don't you think?

I left Burrito Project feeling a lot less exhausted than I usually do from serving in other ways such as inside the church, for people who don't even need half as much as what these homeless people need. It doesn't seem right for me to feel so drained from serving people who already have more than they need....

The more I think about it, it's really the simplest things that keep you going.




{eSeul}